Writing a dating profile after divorce
Your first profile after a divorce or long relationship: what to say, what to leave out, and how to sound like the person you are now.
12 example lines to adapt
1.I am a few months out of a long relationship and enjoying the small business of finding my feet again.
It names the situation plainly, then turns towards the present.
2.My ideal Saturday starts with a slow breakfast and ends with a walk I did not plan.
Two concrete details give a stranger something easy to reply to.
3.I cook properly about twice a week and improvise the rest, usually with decent results.
It is specific and modest, and invites a natural follow-up question.
4.I have two children who take up most of my weekends and a fair amount of my conversation.
It mentions family without describing anyone or inviting intrusive questions.
5.Currently learning to make a decent loaf of bread, with mixed results and a lot of flour.
A forward-looking detail shows someone still curious about things.
6.I would like to meet someone who enjoys long walks, plain food and being kind about other people.
It says what you are drawn to rather than listing demands.
7.Good at listening, hopeless at choosing a film, always the one who remembers birthdays.
Light self-awareness gives warmth without putting yourself down.
8.Newly single after many years, and genuinely glad to be curious about people again.
It frames the change positively rather than apologetically.
9.I would rather hear about your week than talk about my past, though I am happy to answer questions over a second coffee.
It sets a gentle boundary while keeping the door open.
10.Ask me about the beach I keep going back to, the book on my bedside table, or why I own too many mugs.
It offers three easy openings so a first message has somewhere to start.
11.Sunday evenings are usually music, something on the stove and a friend or two dropping by.
It paints an ordinary, sociable life in one image.
12.Second half of my life, first draft of a new profile, and fairly cheerful about both.
Gentle humour about the situation keeps the tone forward-facing.
What a good profile does here
Ending a marriage or a long relationship leaves you with two versions of yourself: the one who was part of a couple, and the one sitting down now to write a few lines about who you are. Your profile needs only the second. It is not a summing up of the years behind you, an explanation or an apology. It is a short, friendly introduction from someone who is still becoming.
The most useful thing a profile can do is give a stranger two or three honest hooks to reply to. How you spend a free Saturday. A film you rewatch. A small, specific pleasure, like the first coffee of the day or a walk with no particular destination. Detail does more work than context, and people answer detail.
If you want to say you are newly single, you can, briefly, and then move on. A plain line about being out of a long relationship and finding your feet again tells the truth without opening questions you may not want in a first message. It also quietly sorts the room: people who find that awkward will drift away, and people who have been there will recognise it. What you are not obliged to do is account for yourself.
Write to the person you would like to meet, not to the person you are leaving behind. That single shift changes the tone of a whole profile. A reader should come away with a sense of someone curious, warm and slightly amused by the whole business of dating again, because that is what most people are.
Writing it, step by step
Start with a page of notes that nobody will see. Write down what a good week looks like now: what you cook, who you see, where you go when you need air. Note three things you would happily talk about for an hour and three you would like to try in the next year. Don't edit. Then read it back and keep the two or three details that sound most like you on a good day. Those become your profile.
Draft it in three small blocks. An opening sentence that sets a tone rather than telling a life story. A middle of two or three concrete details: how you spend time, what you are reading, learning, cooking, growing or fixing. A closing that invites without demanding, such as an easy question or a light remark about what you are hoping to find. Keep the whole thing short; a hundred and fifty words is plenty and less is often better.
Decide in advance what you will say about the divorce and stick to one sentence, or to none. If you have children, you can mention that you have them and how your week is shaped without describing them; a line about weekends being a mix of football pitches and slow breakfasts says enough. If the relationship was long, saying so is sufficient. You are describing your present, not filing a report.
Read it aloud before you post it. If a sentence sounds like a statement to a solicitor, cut it. If it sounds like you talking to a friend across a kitchen table, keep it. Then leave it a day and read it again, because the second reading is where you notice the lingering defensiveness, the joke that lands flat, and the line written for an ex rather than a stranger.
Mistakes to avoid
The most common misstep on a first profile after a long relationship is telling the story of the ending. Even a fair and generous telling takes up the whole page and leaves the reader nowhere to stand. Keep the narrative out. If someone asks on a date, you can tell them then, at whatever length feels right, in your own voice.
Anger reads loudly, even when folded into a joke. A line about what you will not tolerate, or a wry remark about people who waste your time, tells a stranger a good deal about the temperature of your week and very little about you. Kindness in a profile is not weakness; it is the sound of someone who has decided to be good company.
The opposite mistake is pretending nothing happened. A profile that reads as though the last decade vanished leaves the reader slightly unmoored, with a gap where a life should be. You do not have to fill it in, but you can acknowledge it in a clause and move forward. Starting again after a long time is honest and light at once.
Finally, resist writing a list of requirements. Long inventories of what a partner must be tend to read as the residue of the last relationship rather than a hope for the next one. Say what you are drawn to, what you enjoy, what you would like more of. That brings the right people closer and leaves room for someone to surprise you.
Keeping yourself private
A profile is public in a way that a conversation is not, so decide what stays out before you start typing. Your home address, the details of your workplace, the name of your children's school, your daily route, the place you go at the same time every evening: none of that needs to be there. Describe the kind of place instead, such as a busy market on a Saturday, a park with a long loop or a gallery you keep going back to.
Be thoughtful with photographs as well. A picture taken outside your own front door, with a house number or street sign in frame, says more than you intend. Choose images that show your face clearly in ordinary light, and keep children's faces out of them entirely.
Money, legal matters and medical detail belong nowhere near a profile. You are not obliged to explain your circumstances, your housing, your work or your health to anyone, and a first message is not the place for those conversations. If someone presses early for details that feel too personal, that is information about them rather than an obligation on you.
When you do meet, choose somewhere public, tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to be back, and arrange your own way there and home again. Keep the first meeting short, with a natural end point. You can leave whenever you want to, and choosing a place with a door and a bit of bustle makes that easy. None of this is about fear; it is the ordinary care you would take with any new acquaintance, and it leaves you free to enjoy the hour.
Questions people ask
How do I mention my divorce on a dating profile?
One short, calm sentence is plenty, and you can leave it out altogether if you prefer. Something about being out of a long relationship and starting again says what you need without inviting questions. Spend the rest of the profile on your life now.
Should I say that I have children on my profile?
You can, and it often helps, but keep it brief and general. Saying that you have children and how your time is shaped is enough, with no need to describe them. You can share more when you feel comfortable.
How long should a first dating profile be after a long relationship?
A short paragraph or three is usually enough, somewhere under a hundred and fifty words. Two or three specific details about your present life give people more to reply to than a longer account of your past.
How do I write a profile when I feel out of practice?
Start with private notes about an ordinary good week, then keep the two or three details that sound most like you. Read the draft aloud and cut anything that sounds like a formal statement. Feeling rusty is normal, and the writing gets easier after the first draft.
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The situation, what works and what to avoid are 6on7's own editorial brief for this guide. The written guide is drafted with AI from these facts and checked automatically before it is published.