What to talk about on a first phone call
Ready-to-use openers and questions for a first phone call, so silences feel shorter and the conversation finds its own easy rhythm.
20 starters to use
1.How's your day been so far — anything good in it?
It is easy to answer and lets them decide how much of their day to share.
2.What's the rest of your week looking like?
There is always something to say, and it quietly opens the door to making plans.
3.Any plans for the weekend, or is it a slow one?
It works either way, because a quiet weekend is a perfectly good answer.
4.What's been the best part of your week?
Warmer than asking how they are, and it invites a real answer rather than a reflex.
5.I'll start: my day involved a very stubborn printer. How about yours?
Going first with something small makes it easy for them to match your tone.
6.What do you usually do to unwind after a long day?
It opens a window onto ordinary life without asking anything too personal.
7.Is there anything you've been looking forward to lately?
It gives the conversation somewhere pleasant to go and lets them set the scale.
8.What's something small that made you laugh this week?
Light and easy to answer, and it tells you a lot about what they find funny.
9.Tell me about the last thing you did that you really enjoyed.
It invites a story rather than a fact, which fills the call naturally.
10.What kind of food do you reach for when you can't be bothered to cook?
Everyday and unthreatening, and it often leads somewhere useful for a first meeting.
11.If you had a free afternoon with nothing planned, what would you do with it?
It shows how they like to spend time without sounding like an interview question.
12.What are you reading, watching or listening to at the moment?
Three ways in, so there is nearly always something for them to pick up.
13.What's a place near you that you'd happily go back to again and again?
It asks about a kind of place rather than a name, and can lead on to plans.
14.What did you think you'd do when you were younger, before life got sensible?
A gentle deeper question that tends to produce a real answer rather than a polite one.
15.Who's taught you the most, do you think?
It goes deeper without getting heavy, and usually opens up a warm stretch of talk.
16.What's something you've changed your mind about in the last few years?
It shows how they think, not just what they like.
17.What makes you feel at home somewhere?
A softer question for later in the call, once the easy ground has been covered.
18.I've been wondering whether to ask this, but what do you care about most at the moment?
Naming the slight awkwardness makes a bigger question easier to receive.
19.I've really enjoyed this — would you like to carry on over a coffee somewhere busy next week?
It is warm and clear, and it gives them an easy thing to say yes or no to.
20.I should probably let you go soon. Is there anything you'd like to ask me before we say goodbye?
It hands the turn back to them and ends the call deliberately rather than by fading out.
Why these work
On a voice call there is no face to read, so pauses can feel far longer than they actually are. The person on the other end is often wondering the same thing at the same moment. What helps is not a clever line but a small, answerable question that hands the conversation back and forth at a comfortable pace.
Warm-up questions about someone's day or their plans for the weekend work because almost anyone can answer them without thinking hard. They do the quiet job of getting two voices used to each other, which is most of what a first call is for. They also give the other person plenty of room to decide how much to share.
Once the call has settled, one or two deeper questions give it a little weight, so it doesn't stay at the level of small talk the whole way through. The order matters more than the exact words. Easy first, deeper later, and always ready to drift back to something light if the deeper question lands awkwardly.
How to use them without sounding scripted
Pick two or three openers you genuinely like, read them once before you call, then put them away. They are a back pocket, not a script. If you find yourself working through them in order, stop and follow whatever the other person just said instead.
Always respond to their answer with something specific before moving on. "You said you'd been meaning to get back into swimming — what stopped you?" sounds like a person listening. Then answer your own question briefly, so the call feels like a swap rather than an interview with only one side being asked.
Let a silence sit for a beat rather than filling it instantly. You can say what is true: "I'm thinking about that", or "I was just enjoying that answer." A pause with a bit of warmth in it reads very differently from a pause you are both quietly panicking about.
Keep an eye on pace. Speak a little slower than you would in person, since they cannot see your mouth move, and finish your sentences rather than letting them trail off. If you need a moment, say so — nobody minds.
What to avoid
Reading from a list is the one most people can hear immediately. If the questions arrive in a neat row, with no reference to what was just said, the other person ends up feeling they are being processed rather than met. Use a prompt to get going, then let the conversation take over.
Long monologues are easy to fall into on a call, because without a face to read you cannot tell whether you still have company. If you have been talking for a while, pause and hand it back with a question. It is also fine to say, "I've gone on a bit — tell me what you think."
Avoid pressure to talk every night. A first call is one conversation, not the start of a new routine, and suggesting a call every evening before you have even met can feel like a lot to agree to. A message between calls is usually plenty.
Heavy subjects can wait. Money troubles, past relationships and old grievances are all real things, but they land better once there is some ease between you. If one comes up, be kind and brief, then steer gently back to something lighter.
Moving from talking to meeting
If the call is going well, say so and then suggest meeting. Keep the offer specific enough to be easy to picture, and easy to decline: a busy public place, a short window of time, a day far enough ahead that neither of you has to rush.
Meet in public the first time, tell a friend where you will be and roughly when, and arrange your own way there and back. Choose somewhere you can step away from easily if you want to, and keep the first meeting short — you can always plan another. Leaving while you are both still enjoying it is a good way to end.
If they would rather keep talking for now, that is an answer too, and not a rejection. You do not need to speak every night in between; a message or two is plenty to keep the thread going.
Equally, if you would rather not meet yet, say so plainly and warmly. "I'm enjoying this and I'd like a bit more of it before we meet" is a complete sentence, and it is kinder than a vague maybe.
Questions people ask
What should I say first on a first phone call?
Start with something small and warm about their day, then say a little about your own. You are not opening a negotiation, just getting two voices used to each other, so keep the first minute light.
How do I deal with long silences on a phone call?
Silences usually feel much longer to you than to them, because there is no face to read. Let one sit for a moment, then say what is true, such as that you are thinking, or ask something simple about what they just said.
How long should a first phone call last?
There is no set length, and it depends entirely on how the conversation is going. Many people find that a call which ends while you are both still enjoying it leaves a better impression than one that runs until it runs out.
Should I suggest meeting during the first call?
If the conversation has gone well and you would like to, yes. Suggest a busy public place, a short window of time and a day far enough ahead that neither of you has to rush, and make it easy for them to say not yet.
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The situation, what works and what to avoid are 6on7's own editorial brief for this guide. The written guide is drafted with AI from these facts and checked automatically before it is published.