An online dating safety checklist, from first message to second date
Most dating safety advice is either too vague to use or so long nobody follows it. This is the short version: a handful of habits for each stage, in the order you will need them.
Before you reply
A minute of looking saves a lot of time later:
- Does the profile say something specific about them, or could it be anyone?
- Are the photos varied - different places, different times - or a small set that looks professionally shot?
- Has the person completed any verification on the platform, and which checks?
- Is the first message about you, or is it a script that would work on anyone?
While you are talking
- Stay on the platform until you have met. Moving to a private app early is common in scams.
- Keep your surname, workplace, home address and daily routine to yourself for now.
- Notice whether your questions get real answers, and whether the story stays the same over time.
- Treat any mention of money, investments or emergencies as a hard stop.
- Suggest a short video call before you agree to meet.
Before you meet
- Choose a public place you know, at a time with people around.
- Arrange your own way there and back.
- Tell a friend who you are meeting, where and when, and agree a time you will check in.
- Agree a code phrase with that friend that means 'call me with an excuse'.
- Keep your phone charged.
On the night
- Watch your drink, and get a new one if you lose sight of it.
- Stay sober enough to make decisions you would make tomorrow.
- Leave whenever you want to. You do not need a reason, and you do not need to explain.
- Check in with your friend when you said you would.
Afterwards
If it went well, say so. If it did not, a short, kind message is enough, and you can block anyone who does not take no for an answer.
If someone made you feel unsafe, report them on the platform, even if nothing 'happened'. Reports are how platforms spot patterns that no single date can see.
6on7 builds several of these steps in: date check-ins that a trusted friend can follow, code phrases, a scam message checker and graded verification on every profile. The free first-date checklist at 6on7.com/tools/date-safety turns this list into one tailored to your date.