What to talk about on a first video call
Use a short first video call to put a face to the name, share a few everyday details and decide whether meeting in person feels right.
20 starters to use
1.I've got about twenty minutes — does that still work for you?
It sets a clear time limit and gives you both an easy way to end.
2.Would you mind turning your camera on? I'd like to put a face to the name.
It asks for a camera gently and makes the identity check part of the greeting.
3.What name do your friends actually use?
It is a light way to confirm the name you have been using and learn their preference.
4.Where are you calling from — roughly what part of town?
It gives a little local context without asking for an exact address.
5.What's the view from where you're sitting?
It invites a natural look at their surroundings and an easy shared detail.
6.I'll show you my most ordinary mug — will you show me yours?
It makes showing something in the room mutual and playful.
7.What have you been drinking this evening?
It is a simple, warm question that works on almost any call.
8.How's your week been so far — busy, quiet, or somewhere in between?
It opens up the conversation without asking for anything too personal.
9.What's one small thing that went well today?
It steers towards something positive and easy to answer.
10.What's a place near you that you like walking to?
It gives a sense of their everyday life without needing an address.
11.What are you looking forward to this month?
It moves the conversation towards plans and energy.
12.What does a free Saturday usually look like for you?
It reveals routines and preferences in a low-pressure way.
13.What's a food you'd happily eat once a week?
It is light, specific and easy to build on.
14.What's the last thing that made you laugh?
It brings warmth and shows a little of their humour.
15.What's a hobby you've stuck with, and one you've let go?
It invites a longer answer with a gentle contrast.
16.If you had a free hour and no chores, what would you do?
It reveals what they enjoy without sounding like an interview.
17.What kind of music do you put on while you're cooking?
It is sensory and domestic, and easy to answer on camera.
18.What's a film or series you'd recommend without spoiling it?
It gives you a cultural topic you can both return to later.
19.What's something you've been enjoying lately, even if it's small?
It is open, kind and works for quieter moments.
20.Would you be up for a short coffee in a public place next week if this feels easy?
It moves towards meeting without pressure and keeps the first plan short.
Why these work
A first video call of 15 to 30 minutes gives you both enough time to settle, hear each other and see the person you have been messaging. The aim is not to test anyone or to run an interview. It is a simple check that the person on screen matches the person you have been speaking to, and that the conversation feels comfortable enough to continue. Agreeing a time limit up front makes that easier: you both know when you will stop, so neither of you has to invent an excuse.
Questions you can both answer on camera work because they keep the call moving without putting one person on the spot. Ordinary details — a mug, a plant, a book, the view from a window — give you something to look at together and help the conversation feel like a real meeting rather than a performance. They also let you confirm small, human things naturally: a voice, a face, a room, a sense of humour.
Showing something in the room is especially useful. It changes the rhythm, gives you both a moment to breathe, and creates an easy way to be present without staring at each other. Keep it light and mutual: you show something, they show something. You are not inspecting their home or asking them to prove anything. You are simply letting the call be a little more like sitting together.
How to use them without sounding scripted
Choose three or four lines before you call, not twenty. The lines are prompts, not a script. Start with something practical: I have got about twenty minutes, shall we begin with the easy stuff? Then use one question, answer it yourself, and let the conversation go where it goes. If you both start talking about something else, follow that. The best first call usually sounds less organised than the list.
Have your camera on from the start and ask, warmly, if they are happy to have theirs on too. Good light and a quiet-ish room help more than any clever question. If they keep the camera off, you can say you would rather see who you are speaking to; if that is not possible for them today, suggest moving the call to another time. You do not need to make it a confrontation. A simple preference is enough.
Answer your own questions. If you ask what they are drinking, say what is in your cup. If you ask them to show you something ordinary, show yours first. This keeps the call mutual and stops it feeling like a checklist. Leave a little silence, too. A pause is not a failure; it is often where a more natural question comes from. You are aiming for a pleasant conversation, not perfect coverage.
What to avoid
Avoid very personal questions early on: income, health, family plans, exact addresses, workplace details, or anything about past relationships that would feel heavy in a short call. You can be curious without being intrusive. If a topic feels too close, say so lightly and move on: I would rather save that for another time. The same goes for asking them to hold up documents or show you their whole home. A face on camera and a natural conversation are enough for a first call.
Do not let the call run for hours. A short call ends while you both still have energy, which is much better than pushing through until you are tired. If it is going well, say so and suggest a second call or a short meeting rather than letting the first one blur into the evening. If the other person keeps extending it and you want to stop, use your time limit: I said I would stop at half past, so I will let you go now.
Avoid refusing to turn your own camera on while asking them to turn theirs on. If you are not ready to be seen, say that honestly and rearrange. Also avoid treating the call as an interrogation or a chance to catch someone out. You are checking whether you would like to meet, not proving a case. If something feels off, you can end the call politely and follow up with a short message. You do not owe anyone a long explanation.
Moving from talking to meeting
Near the end, say what you enjoyed and ask a simple question: Would you like to meet for a short coffee next week? Choose a public place that is easy for you both to reach — a busy café, a park with a café, a market with seating — and keep the first meeting short. Afternoon or early evening often works well because it has a natural end. You can decide about the bill when you are there; there is no need to make assumptions about who pays.
Tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to be back. Arrange your own way there and back, and keep enough charge and means to leave when you want. These are ordinary precautions, not a judgement on the person you are meeting. They simply let you relax and pay attention to the conversation. If you would rather meet somewhere busy with staff nearby, choose that.
After the call, send a short message either way. If you want to meet, confirm the time and place. If you do not, a kind line is enough: It was good to speak, but I do not think we are quite the right fit. I wish you well. You do not need to explain more than that. The point of the video call is to make the next step clearer, and a clear, warm ending is part of that.
Questions people ask
How long should a first video call last?
Aim for 15 to 30 minutes, and agree the limit at the start if you can. That is long enough to get a sense of each other and short enough to leave while you still have energy. If it is going well, you can plan a second call or a short meeting.
What should I talk about on a first video call?
Stick to light, everyday things: your week, a meal you like, something in the room, a place you enjoy walking. Answer your own questions and let the conversation wander a little. You do not need to cover everything in one call.
How do I check they are who they say they are without being rude?
Ask warmly for the camera to be on and use the name they prefer. Ordinary details like a voice, a room and small stories help you match the person to the conversation you have been having. If you feel uneasy, you can end the call politely and follow up by message.
When should we meet in person?
Meet when the call has felt comfortable and you both want to. Choose a public place, keep the first meeting short and arrange your own way there and back. Tell a friend where you will be and when you expect to be back.
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The situation, what works and what to avoid are 6on7's own editorial brief for this guide. The written guide is drafted with AI from these facts and checked automatically before it is published.